Meet the marketmore cucumber. It's dark green, has spines that hurt if you hit them full on, but you can knock them off from the side without injury. When things work out well, it looks like this.
But, somethings things go wrong. And when that happened in my yard, the cucumbers ended up looking like humpback whales. Blame is currently going to the pill bugs who seemed to be everywhere in the dirt last month. Luckily only the ones on the ground were affected, and all the others are climbing up the tomato cage.